|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
| |
 |
Write Your story. |
 |
Dear Member:
You can write your Success story in ParsDating... |
|
| 04/05/2007 |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
| I just want to say thanks for the facilities you h... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
How do you earn respect from your husband?
Post date: 2006-12-11
Answer
Start by respecting yourself. Do not take the crap. Tell him to love you or leave you.
Answer
Incorrect. Start acting feminine, clean, cook, wash dishes, have the house tidy when he gets home from work, a smile on your face, and good hot food on the table.
If you do that you'll remain married your entire life.
Answer
Always be happy and cheerful/do ALL the housework/have his meal ready when he walks in the door? PLEASE! Exactly what year do you think this is...1900? This is his wife, not his servant.
Answer
The advice is sound and given from a happily married man who respects his wife.
The response was consistent with the authors concern, more so offering the means to sustain a lifetime marriage.
Any way it’s sliced, the 1st and 3rd response are merely females stating what makes them happy, when in fact this male poster is directly answering what his wife does that makes him respect her.
After investigating the original question, the advice from this author is genuine and sincere.
Answer
Well, you’re right about 1 thing, the 3rd response (mine) is from a woman. A woman who has been married for 15 years. A woman who respects her husband and who’s husband respects her. Our marriage is a partnership. I am not his servant or his personal maid. And had he expected me to be, the marriage would not have last very long. Actually, there wouldn’t have been a marriage at all, because I wouldn’t have married him in the first place if that were his expectations.
The original question was "how do you earn respect from your husband?" Since I’m not a male, that’s difficult for me to answer (as much as I try I don't always understand the male mind), so I’ll turn it around and tell you why I respect my husband.
I respect my husband because he is a kind, considerate, loving man. I respect my husband because he is fair and honest. He has a great deal of integrity, and he always strives to do the right thing. I respect my husband because he loves his family and cares about their happiness. I respect my husband for many other reasons, but did I say anything like--I respect him because he does ALL the yard work or because he does ALL the work on the family vehicles? No, because while I’m happy when he mows the yard (and by the way I occasionally mow it, just like he occasionally does the laundry), it doesn’t have a darn thing to do with why I respect him.
Answer
Again, the previous is a female twisting a question and turning into what makes her happy.
Irrelevant, men and women want different things.
Answer
The same way you earn respect from your peers, coworkers, etc. DO YOUR BEST AT ALL TIMES. Don't be lazy. Do you best to improve areas that you know you are weak in. Admit your mistakes/shortcomings and work on improving them. Continually improve yourself somehow. This includes your attitude, work ethic, education, personal habits, appearance, etc. If you think you are "the best you'll ever be" right now and act as such, then it's no secret that it's all downhill from here.
Also, try to impress him in areas that he regards highly. For instance, if he is a scholar; learn something, talk to him about it, listen to him, and learn more. Or if he is a handyman, do a craft or project around the house and when he critiques it, listen and do as he says. He'll see that you are honestly trying to learn something and will respect you for putting forth an honest effort and doing well.
Disclaimer: Don't obsess about it the self-improvement part. Just work at it.
Answer
Previous poster stated: Again, the previous is a female twisting a question and turning into what makes her happy. Irrelevant, men and women want different things.
The question was not twisted by me. The question was not 'what makes a man happy' it was 'what makes a man respect you'? Again, the previous poster is a male who obviously thinks they’re living in 1900. To the OP, if you want to be your husband’s personal servant and you’re happy and content doing that, then go for it. I’m quite sure that would make hubby happy--who wouldn’t want to a personal servant that tended to their every need? But if he respected you, then he would not expect or demand that from you.
Answer
Why don't you ask him? Maybe phrase it in a different way: What qualities do you respect in a person? or pick someone you know he respects and ask about that person specifically. What does your husband do that earns your respect? Do your version of whatever that is.
For instance: I respect my husband because he is always there for me when I need him, he is supporting me while I go to school full-time, and he doesn't freak out when I slack off the cleaning and cooking during finals week. Oh and because he knows about cars.
So to earn his respect I am always there when he needs me (and before, if I can anticipate it), I try not to ask him for money and I pay the car insurance bill, I try to keep the insanity of finals week to a minimum, and I am trying to graduate as quickly as possible.
Answer
I'm pretty sure the person who posted second on this thread is either single or is a master of mind control.
You should not have to EARN respect from your husband. If he married you, you should already HAVE his respect.
People are not born with respect. "This is who I am; take it or leave it!" type of answer can only limit one's growth. Every good thing has to be earned with sweat, tear, and...self-denying. Taking advantage of others' love for you is so different from earning respect from them. This is true with parent-son&daughter, spouse, friend, coworker, supervisor-subordinate realtionship, etc.
It is common sense how to earn respect: Be responsible and honest, grateful and accept, respect the other and myself, do my best and ...have no fear!
Do not take credit for what I do not deserve, and yet do not scream and shout when the other takes mine.
Respect is like good wine, it takes time to become better. There is no short cut; Just sow seeds and enjoy life at the same time.
Answer
In any relationship, you earn someone's respect by both being honest (e.g., if you've had a hard day and you need your husband to help you with something -- including that "good hot meal" -- you TELL him so) and being caring (e.g., you tell him this in a civil way). Basically, looking BOTH to your needs and his. Marriage is a union, not a capitulation.l
Answer
Respect your husband and he will respect you in return. That doesn't mean lavish him with love, it means a wife should mention to him how she respects her husbands support, kindness, honesty, etc... Try it. Tell him "I was just thinking today while I was bored at work how much I really respect that you also work to provide for this family." I have no doubt he'll be returning that favor with some love, kindness and respect.
|
|
|
|
